My Child Says They Hate Maths: Is a Tutor the Answer?
When a child says they hate maths, they are almost never describing the subject. They are describing how it feels to be them in a maths lesson: exposed, behind, braced for the next wrong answer. A tutor is the answer when the hatred is really a gap or lost confidence, because one-to-one attention can close gaps and rebuild the sense of being someone who can do this. A tutor is not the answer when the cause sits elsewhere, and a good one will say so. Here is how to tell which situation is yours.
Why do children say they hate maths?
Because maths is uniquely good at making children feel caught out. It is cumulative, so a gap from Term 1 keeps resurfacing all year. Answers are visibly right or wrong, so there is nowhere to hide. And it carries a cultural story no other subject has, the idea that some people are simply “maths people” and the rest never will be.
Listen closely and “I hate maths” usually translates to one of three things. “I am lost”, meaning a concept was missed and everything built on it since has wobbled. “I am scared”, meaning the child has started dreading the moment of being wrong, a pattern researchers call maths anxiety, which the OECD has found affects a large share of students worldwide and drags performance down with it. Or “I have decided this is not me”, which is identity, and the most stubborn of the three.
In fifteen years of one-on-one tutoring we have met all three regularly, often braided together in the same student. What we almost never meet is a child who genuinely cannot learn maths.
Is maths anxiety real, or an excuse?
It is real, and it is mechanical rather than mysterious. Worry occupies working memory, and working memory is exactly what mental arithmetic and multi-step problems run on. An anxious student is effectively solving every problem with half their desk covered. They then get a worse result than they are capable of, which confirms the fear, which occupies more working memory next time. That loop, not ability, is what many parents are watching when homework ends in tears.
The loop matters because it changes what help has to do. More worksheets aimed at an anxious student sharpen the fear, not the skill. What breaks the loop is safe, private practice where being wrong costs nothing, wins come early and often, and difficulty rises only as fast as confidence does.
Will a tutor fix it?
A tutor is the right tool when at least one of these is true: there is a real gap underneath the hatred, homework has become a nightly battle, the child has stopped attempting questions they could plausibly get, or “I’m dumb” and “I’m not a maths person” have entered their vocabulary. One-to-one attention is the best-evidenced way to work at exactly the student’s level; the Education Endowment Foundation finds around five additional months of progress from one-to-one tuition on average. In our experience the sequence with a maths-averse student is consistent: attempts come back first, then accuracy, then, sometimes months later, the grudging admission that maths is “actually fine”. The feelings change last. Expect that.
What a tutor should do with a student like this is specific. Go back to where the ground is solid, even if that is two year levels down, and rebuild from there. Keep early sessions win-heavy. Never punish a wrong answer with disappointment. Connect the work to the current classroom topic so school stops being an ambush. The Australian Education Research Organisation’s guidance on explicit teaching points the same way: identify the gap, teach directly to it, practise until it is automatic.
When is a tutor not the answer?
Sometimes the maths is a symptom. If a child is exhausted, anxious across every subject, having trouble seeing the board, or in open conflict with a particular teacher, tutoring maths treats the wrong variable. Persistent, severe difficulty with number sense that has not responded to good teaching deserves a conversation with the school about assessment rather than more hours of the same. And a child who is coping fine but bored needs challenge, not remediation. A provider who assesses before enrolling will pick most of this up in the first meeting. Be wary of one who does not look.
What can parents do at home tonight?
Three things cost nothing. Stop saying “I was never a maths person” in front of your child; the identity is contagious and they are listening. Praise attempts and methods rather than speed and answers, because speed worship feeds the anxiety loop. And shrink the stakes: five relaxed minutes of maths talk in the car beats a supervised hour of conflict at the table.
How Choice Education Group approaches it
Our tutors work one-on-one online, Australia-wide, and every student starts with an assessment that finds the last solid ground before we build anything on top of it. Same tutor every week, a note home after every session, and difficulty that rises with confidence rather than ahead of it. If your child has decided they hate maths, we would like to meet them before that decision sets. Start the conversation at choiceeducationgroup.com.
Frequently asked questions
Is maths anxiety a real thing? Yes. Worry consumes the working memory that mental arithmetic and multi-step problems depend on, so anxious students underperform their actual ability, which then reinforces the anxiety. OECD assessments have found maths anxiety is widespread among students and associated with meaningfully lower performance.
Can a child who hates maths learn to like it? Most can learn to stop dreading it, which is the goal that matters. In practice attempts recover first, then accuracy, then attitude. Liking it is a bonus; no longer fearing it changes school life.
Should I get a maths tutor or wait and see? Waiting makes sense for a short-term wobble with a topic. A pattern across a term, avoidance of homework, or self-talk like “I’m dumb” are signals to act, because maths is cumulative and gaps compound.
What should a tutor do differently for an anxious student? Assess first, start below the frustration line, make early sessions win-heavy, keep wrong answers cheap, and link work to the current classroom topic. Pace and safety, not pressure, break the anxiety loop.
References
– Education Endowment Foundation. One to one tuition, Teaching and Learning Toolkit. – OECD. Programme for International Student Assessment. – Australian Education Research Organisation. Practice guidance.
